Astrologers are an interesting bunch. Lots of them have two homes, and some of them even live between two countries (okay...guilty.) Some of them travel the world with their laptops, giving readings in luxurious spa resorts, and others just decamp to exotic islands, filing their columns from the pool.
I also know one who devotes his entire life to getting people out of crisis, all over the world (even politicians are on his books). He does it all from his office, with a headset phone, when he’s not meditating and doing yoga.
But...just in case you think that astrologers have some kind of secret knowledge that keeps us immune from life’s dramas – we don’t! Stargazers are in the karmic soup just as much as anyone else, and when our cycles are tough, we can’t stop that enormous vat of cow crap from hitting the fan, either.
Nevertheless, talk to any astrologer long enough and you’ll find they not only seem to extract themselves from the aforementioned cow crap, they even manage to benefit from it. So...what’s the secret?
Here are some of the tricks of the trade – the stuff that astrologers talk about over lunch. I’m happy to pass it on to you!
WHAT ASTROLOGERS TELL EACH OTHER OVER LUNCH
NEVER BUY A HOME WHEN SATURN’S IN YOUR FOURTH
Never buy or rent a new home when Saturn is in your Fourth House. The house or flat you have your eye on, will bring unavoidable problems and obstacles. Of course you’ll get through it. And you could even triumph, eventually. But do you really want to spend up to two years of your life working endlessly on a situation you could have avoided? If you don’t need the stress, then skip it.
MAKE UP WITH YOUR EX WHEN VENUS IS IN THE SEVENTH
Do you want to get back together with your ex? Or do you just wish you could have a peaceful, separate existence (instead of the constant threat of legals or burst tyres?) Every 12 months or so, Venus goes through your Seventh House. That’s your cue to negotiate. Look for the common ground, then look for a common (or similar) goal. Work as hard as you can to progress together then.
IF YOU WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT, LOOK AT YOUR MOON
Okay...this is actually beyond the scope of this article. But it’s very important. To lose weight, book an astrologer, and ask them about your Moon – by sign, house position and particularly by aspect. You’re not fat because you don’t know what to eat. You’re fat because you are confusing food with comfort.
A good astrologer who knows his/her Moon can give you a solution and strategy.
NEED GLASSES? LOOK AT YOUR NEPTUNE CYCLE
Neptune cycles are difficult, because you’ll be so blind to reality, that you won’t even know you’re having a problem. There are a lot of astrologers walking around who didn’t see certain people or situations coming, despite everything. But...here’s a useful clue. If your eyesight deteriorates, you’re more out of touch with your Neptune cycle issues than you know. Wake up!
NEVER COMMIT ON MERCURY RETROGRADE
Never commit to really important arrangements – or take ‘news’ too seriously – when Mercury is retrograde. Think twice about making purchases or selling your stuff, and be particularly careful about vital financial transactions. Use the period of Mercury Retrograde to throw ideas around, get feedback, take notes, get quotes, make enquiries – and then leave it, until Mercury goes direct.
FInd out when Mercury is retrograde here
THUNDER AND LIGHTNING ARE TELLING YOU SOMETHING
Thunder and lightning are unusual omens. The next time you get caught up in a storm, remember this: you are having a Uranus Cycle that requires your immediate attention. Astrologers work with symbols, signs and fate. Lightning is your instant message from the cosmos that you need to get in touch with your Uranus Cycle and work with the planet as best you can. Read up on it!
DON’T MIX DRUGS AND ALCOHOL WITH NEPTUNE CYCLES
Astrologers like to knock back the Margaret River Shiraz as much as the next professional. But if we are having problems with our Neptune Cycles, we lay off the booze – or at least, we try not to get double-vision. The same goes for drugs. Here’s the golden rule with Neptune: the more chaos you are in, the more confused you are, the less you need to drink or do drugs. Avoid it.
WHEN YOU’RE FINISHED, YOU’RE JUST BEGINNING
We all have passing atomic explosions in our lives. But astrologers know that when it’s all over, and you’re finished – you’re actually just beginning. Those times in your life when you hit the point of no return are Pluto experiences. You’ll know them, because events will tie in with your Pluto Cycle in some way. Don’t be fooled, though. The end of something is a powerful new start.
GOOD CHEMISTRY STARTS WITH YOUR VENUS SIGN
Good chemistry starts with your Venus Sign, as opposed to your Sun Sign. Find out yours, free, here. The easiest people for you to work with, do business with, have sex with, have kids with, or get married to – have a Sun Sign, Moon Sign, Mercury Sign, Venus Sign or Mars Sign which is compatible with yours. For more information on Venus Signs, please see Astrolove (Penguin.)
